accomplished twins. life is a go
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
