as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
