sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
