i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
