Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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