Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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