Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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