Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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