we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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