windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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