well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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