you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
