the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
