this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
