Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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