i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
