Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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