the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
