I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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