Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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