Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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