I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
