a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
