I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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