I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
