ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
