Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
