i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
