i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
