He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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