; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i love accidental penises.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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