Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize