I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
