Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
So here I am, sexting at work.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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