She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
