I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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