Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
