walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize