evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
