she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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