Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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