I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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