THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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