Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
