dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I forgot how hot balto sounded
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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