____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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