I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
