I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You pole danced in your parka.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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