I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
