it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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