Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize