what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
no, he came in my armpit
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
