Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize