woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
