Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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