So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
