ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
