she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
