Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
