ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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