I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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