So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
