That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
