champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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