I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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