There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
