if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
