I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize