I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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