i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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