did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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