i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can't turn off my feet"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
