well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I want to fling myself into the sun
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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