Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
