It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Randomize
