Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
