if i can run in heels then i can drive
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
