I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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