But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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